Shit happens. And I don't mean unexpected setbacks, like a turned ankle or swine flu. I mean poop. Number 2. BMs. I promised blackmail material, and today I intend to deliver.
Everyone should try running. Our bodies are good at it; we are engineered for endurance and speed. The benefits, even for casual joggers, are significant, like stronger heart and lungs and firmer asses. It is cheap exercise that you can do right outside your door with just a decent pair of tennies. Also, running a mile can be as personally rewarding as running a marathon. I'm not sure what all you non-runners are waiting for, a personal invitation? Here it is: join me in running. I'd love to hear about all the new adventures, personal insights, and physical improvements you experience. Listen to your body; mix walking and running til you can run straight through, then go farther. Also, bring tissue paper.
Because, occasionally, you will need to take a dump. Running gets the plumbing moving like nothing I know. You and your intestines might need a little time to get to know each other. If I can start my morning with a cup of caffeinated tea and 45 minutes of peace and quiet, then I'm almost guaranteed a good bathroom session before I start my run. Almost guaranteed.
However, there are times when the body rebels...or dinner doesn't sit right...or a little bug begins to wreak havoc in the tummy. It can strike anywhere, lightening fast. So like a good boy scout, be prepared.
With some practice, I've learned what public restrooms are available on my running routes, even at god-awful-early a.m. hours. And I'm on intimate terms with a few ditches. And a little patch of shrubs along Bear Creek. And a window well at my house when I once forgot my keys. Gene will never let me forget that one. He will also be horrified that I've now made the incident public; he has a much healthier sense of modesty than I do. Sorry, honey. And my best friend and I fertilized the same tree in the gray light of pre-dawn before our first marathon together. Now that's bonding.
Your turn. Are you a runner? Got any good shit stories?